A Confession

Last night I had an epiphany, seemingly obvious but telling: I live in a genteel cocoon.

At my son’s Cub Scout Pack meeting, one of the Den leaders, a dentist in his 40’s, came up to me, out of the blue, and said – expecting agreement, perhaps, because we’re two of the only 3 Jews in the 60+ member Pack and almost all Jews are liberals – “I wish Bush were terminal instead of Kennedy,” and then launched into an expletive-loaded diatribe about Bush being a murderer for taking the US into Iraq. I just made a “T” with my hands, time out sign, and walked away.

I’m now 60, and since age 17 have been deeply involved in the most contentious issues. Most often my views align with strands of conservatism, but frequently my views are either quite liberal or out of sync with either camp. Whether in early days on campus in the ‘60’s, where my SDS and DuBois foes were also kids I’d grown up with, or later days in the 2004 veterans revolt against Kerry’s lies and exaggerations, where my foes were those who hadn’t served but didn’t express disdain for the military, to discussions within the Jewish community about what’s best for Israel and America’s interests, where my foes are willing to base others lives on hopes, there was a basic common dialogue that I engaged in with them as concerned Americans trying to address issues and differences with basic civility.

I’d never been personally accosted before as I was last night. That may seem odd, but I think it applies to most Americans. The communities we live and work in contain wide diversities, but communications among all are respectful and even tempered, caring, even usually informed.

Sure, we see gross intemperance in statements and actions carried in the newspapers, on TV or blogs. But, that’s removed from our direct personal interactions, for the overwhelming majority of Americans anyway.

I was angry last night. Angry that such vitriol had touched me, my life, my son’s environment. I’m slow to anger, and quick to forgive – though not forget. Whether in public or private action, I try not to react but to act on principles, including sticking to civil discussion. So, that dentist may take my “T” as my having nothing to say or rebut.

He would be mistaken. As, I believe many like him in 2008 will be shocked as in 1968, 1972, 1980, 2004, that there is a silent majority of Americans who quietly and sanely consider and decide they don’t want to be ruled by vitriol and hate, nor our sacrifices and honor tarred by those who disdain personal integrity and hard works.

That dentist may – hopefully -- hesitate in again so exposing his uncivil self, faced with a simple refusal to engage in political potty talk, as I’m sure he wouldn’t tolerate other potty talk from his son in our Cub Scout Pack.

Friends wonder at my political optimism, regardless of the odds or issue. It’s rooted in faith in the triumph of civility. I confess to living in a genteel cocoon. That cocoon is the American weakness when exploited and strength when attacked by threats to our way of life, that can only thrive with civility.

Of course, issues and differences will be predominant in 2008, but so will character. Neither Clinton nor Obama will fare well in those quiet judgments by Americans compared to McCain’s lifetime adherence to civilility.